How are you: 40 ways to introduce yourself with levity

“How are you?” In the United States, this is often just a friendly greeting and the speaker does not expect a detailed account of your health.

A literal response is not expect. “Fine” or “good” is the most common answer in my experience. After all, one word answers allow us to move to the purpose of the meeting and the task at hand. If someone is sick or under the weather, it may explain a nasal voice or a red noise. Sometimes you will receive an “overwhelmed” response that does not show confidence or agency. Busy-ness will often convey this, too.

However, you can often ingratiate yourself with others by lightening the mood, especially in work meetings that many are likely not excited to be present. Be humorous. Be folksy. Be always be you or it won’t come off as genuine.

The following are friendly ways to answer “How are you?” when your teammates ask:

• Somewhere between better and best. How are you?

• Better now that you asked. How are you?

• Better than I deserve. How are you?

• Much better now I'm talking to you. How are you?

• My lawyer says I don’t have to answer that question. How are you?

• Medium well and pink in the center. How are you?

• On a scale of one to five, I’m pie. How are you? Do you like pie?

• I hear good things, but you should never listen to rumors. How are you?

• Nice and dandy like cotton candy. How are you?

• If I were any better, It would be illegal. How are you?

• Strange, and getting stranger. How are you?

• It's a secret. I could be better, but I plan on lying at today's press conference. How are you?

• Word on the street is that I'm really, really good. How are you?

• I'm better than I was, but not nearly as good as I'm going to be. How are you?

• I would be lying if I said I’m fine. I'm fabulous. How are you?

• On a scale from one to throwing something? I’m a [X]. How are you?

• Happy and you know it. [pause, clap your hands] [smile] How are you?

• In order to answer the question, I need to take you back about ten years. Can you cancel your meetings the rest of the day? No, how are you?

• Uh, you go first so we can compare notes. How are you?

• Dangerously close to fabulous. How are you?

• I'm busy taking over the world. My invention is almost complete. You?

• Hunting dragons to slay. You?

• If I was any finer, I would be porcelain china. How are you?

• If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. How are you?

• The doctors said I would live this week. [Smile] How are you?

• Good, but I’ll get over it eventually. How are you?

• Fine as frog hair. How are you?

• Hmm. Good, I am. [Yoda voice] How are you?

• Hunting zombies today. Tomorrow who knows. How are you?

• Better now.

Be sure to get the tone right–oh, and smile. Oh, and some of these may not work across cultures, so use your discretion when meeting completely new folks.

Do you have other ways you prefer to answer “How are you?” What are ways you like to start off work meetings with lightness?